Beautiful Monster by Kate McCaffrey

Author:Kate McCaffrey
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Juvenile Fiction/General
ISBN: 17797
Publisher: Fremantle Press
Published: 2009-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 8

Things seem to settle down. Tess has focus, for the first time in a long while. Sure, she’s dismissed her tennis mates—who can’t understand why she’s pulled out of the team and are constantly trying to suck her back in. But like Ned says, they don’t really care about her—they just want to win pennants. And she’ll be nobody’s lackey. Mum seems a lot better too—back to her old ways, or at least the ways she’s had since Brodie. And Tess has been getting excellent marks at school—all As. She is flying.

One night she steps on the scales, fear and trepidation in her heart. Just be 45,she begs, because if it is—she’s done everything right. She watches the red line anxiously. Wills it to hit 45. Can barely hold back the elation when it does.

This is it: 45! She’s done it. Made it. Achieved the seemingly impossible. She hugs herself tightly.

Silence follows. Days filled with jogging, morning and night. Taking Nero for a walk is the excuse she uses to her dad.

‘He’s getting fat,’ she says, pointing to his Labrador paunch. And her dad laughs, grateful she’s looking after the dog. One less concern for him.

Rowing is over and she can’t go back to tennis. She eats what she has to. An apple some days is enough; others, when she’s so hungry it makes her weak, she’ll have carbs, but on those days she spews them back up before they stick to her ribs. She studies all the time—at school, in the library and at home at night. She has to wear the winter uniform, even though spring has struck with the vengeance of summer, because she’s so cold all the time. She shuns company—doesn’t want to talk or socialise.

Some kind of equilibrium has been struck in their house and Tess will not be the one to shake it. So, given everything, she’s surprised when Jordan finds her in the library one lunchtime.

‘Tess?’

She is startled at the sound of his voice. It’s been four weeks since she dropped off the team, and every time he texts she presses delete.

‘Hi Jordan,’ she says, because what else can she say?

‘What you doing?’ He shifts anxiously next to her and she’s sorry for the way she’s made him feel.

‘Studying,’ she says slowly.

‘The Year 11 dance is coming up.’ He leans towards her. ‘I thought—maybe, if no one else has asked, if you’d want to go with me. If you like?’

She thinks for a moment. It’s a dance for the year group above hers. She had no aspirations of going—she barely knows anyone in Year 11.

‘Look Jordan, thanks.’ She pauses, thinking—how can she avoid hurting his feelings? ‘But I’m not really into it at all, to tell you the truth.’

‘Oh.’ He looks embarrassed and it makes her feel terrible. ‘Sorry, I just thought—well, I heard about your mum and figured you needed space. So I kinda understand why you dropped off the team. But I thought that, well, we were getting along real well before that.

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